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There is nothing funnier than witty insults thrown at people, be it on the big screen or in real life. Some studies say that throwing carefully constructed insults at someone also improves your vocabulary and creativity.

Also, to add 'insult' to injury swear words also come in handy. That is exactly what the funniest insult jokes below consist of. But sometimes those insults can be hurtful too. Some of those hurtful ones also have been listed below. Take a look at the collection.

 

 

Funny and possibly the best insults ever

 

 

1. You know you're so dumb that you couldn't pour water out of a shoe if the instructions are on the heel.

 

This one is pretty old but is surely gold.

 

2. You, sir, are a waste of oxygen!

 

Subtle but effective.

 

3. I can only explain it to you. I can't understand it for you too.

 

Saying it to their face.

 

4. Don't you think it is dangerous to use one's entire vocabulary in just one sentence?

 

The extent of their vocabulary.

 

5. Could you eat that makeup you have on you so that finally you can be beautiful on the inside?

 

For someone who is a bitch.

 

6. As a response to a person who said that his mother couldn't make a joke, the mom said, "well, I did make you".

 

Another classy mom joke.

 

7. You're as "useful" as a pack of knitted condoms.

 

LOL. This is gold.

 

8. Those things were called "jumpolines" and that was just before your mother jumped on one.

 

A next level yo mama joke!

 

9. The kid yelled at his parents, "you're a couple of dildos", without even knowing what it meant. The couple looked at each other for 5 seconds and burst out in laughter.

 

When the insulter becomes the insultee.

 

10. I'm so jealous of the people that "unfortunately" don't know you.

 

This one's a bit complex.

 

11. The only way you'll get laid is if you went up a chicken's arse and waited there.

 

That egg reference.

 

12. Your face looks like it caught on fire when you were younger and someone tried to put it out using a spiked hammer.

 

Wow, this one's to their face.

 

13. You are living proof that evolution can, in fact, go in reverse.

 

The reversal of evolution.

 

14. You are so damn ugly that your reflection in the mirror frowned and walked away!

 

Or that the mirror shattered.

 

15. Hell is wallpapered with all your deleted selfies.

 

Or even the ones still undeleted.

 

16. Encourage bacteria, 'cause that's the only kind of culture some people have.

 

For the uncultured brutes.

 

17. Police to a dumb convict, "you go free, 'cause stupidity isn't a crime".

 

One of the cop jokes.

 

18. As an outsider, what are your thoughts on the intelligent human race?

 

Subtly calling them a dumb person.

 

19. Since the day I saw you in your family tree, I have wanted to cut it down.

 

Accusing the entire family tree.

 

20. Wow, you're a multi-tasker. You can talk AND piss off people.

 

Wen you're just pissed!

 

 

 

The worst insults ever

 

 

1. Do you know that you aren't pretty enough to be this stupid?

 

Ugly and dumb.

 

2. You're a guy who could be greatly improved by death!

 

Only death can improve a dumb person.

 

3. You are so old, that back when you were a kid, the rainbows were black and white.

 

Calling someone old with a rainbow reference.

 

4. If you cannot laugh at yourself, I will be more than glad to do it for you, my friend.

 

Laughing at em is a treat!

 

5. You know what could use a little chlorine? your gene pool.

 

Cleanse the gene pool!

 

6. Do you what we'd call a woman who'd agree to go out with you? Desperate!

 

Whoa, burn!

 

7. You are like this top piece of bread that everyone touched but no one likes to eat.

 

Untouchable much?

 

8. Are you nicknamed Subway, 'cause you have some low-quality meat and you lied about it being 6 inches?

 

Calling their dick a sub! LOL

 

9. Your family tree must've been a huge cactus, 'cause all of you are nothing but pricks.

 

Another family bashing.

 

10. Has anyone told you that you're a great singer? If they say "yes", you say, "Well they must be tone deaf" and if they say "no" you say "Thank God".

 

A two-way insult route.

 

11. That is a great picture of you. But it doesn't look like you at all!

 

A neat little way of saying that someone is an uggo.

 

12. I sincerely hope that the rest of your day is as pleasant as you were.

 

When someone is not pleasant to you.

 

13. If I were to be with you, Hitler and Laden in a room with two bullets, I'd gladly shoot you twice.

 

When they are so dumb.

 

14. What a drunken knave was the sea to cast thee in our way! - William Shakespeare

 

 

A bit of old school sledging from William Shakespeare.

 

15. I was gonna throw a nasty look at him, but he already has one.

 

Ugly insults are the best.

 

16. You'll never be half the man your mother is.

 

Taking a swing at their mother.

 

17. It is really scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.

 

A scary thought indeed.

 

18. You are so fat that you could make a living by selling your shade.

 

Oh, damn, that's gotta hurt!

 

19. I still can't believe that you're the sperm that won the race.

 

A disgrace!

 

20. You have the perfect face for the radio.

 

When they are so ugly!

 

How did you like the list of these insults? Let us know below in the comments and reaction sections.