35 Chuck Norris Facts & Jokes That Will Make You Laugh All Day

Chuck Norris is a martial artist cum actor. He worked in United Stated Air Force for four years. But his glory days came in 2005 when a series of jokes popularly known as Chuck Norris facts started circulating on the internet. He became an international internet sensation as the absurd jokes started spreading around in regional languages as well. Most of the hilarious Chuck Norris jokes are base on his masculinity, toughness, attitude, and heroism.

Chuck Norris has confessed that he finds the jokes on him very amusing. The jokes became so viral that Penguin USA published a book with the title "The Truth about Chuck Norris – 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human." Later on, Chuck himself brought out a book contains all the possible satire jokes on him and named the book "The Official Chuck Noris Fact Book".



Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes



1. Once a King Cobra bit Chuck Norris. After three days of extreme pain, the cobra died. 

He can also eat an Anaconda alive!


2. Chuck Norris's car does not run on fuel, it runs out of fear. 

I should have one of them. 


3. Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography, and it became the Guinness Book Of World Records!

Now we know the origin. 


4. Chuck Norris can make onions cry and kill two stones with one bird. 

Time to change the proverbs. 


5. When Chuck Norris shows you the middle finger, you can prepare for your death. 

Count the seconds. 


6. Chuck Norris calendar does not have 1st April because no one can fool him.

He is wiser than the Soloman.


7. Chuck Norris does not have light at his house. He can see through the darkness.

He turns the dark off instead of light. 


8. Chuck Norris is the only person onEarth who can play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and come out alive. 

Even death had a near-death experience. 


9. When Chuck Norris enters the court, the Judges stand up and when he breaks a law, his act becomes a new law.

Respect or fear?


10. Chuck Norris never worries about a heart attack because the heart of scared of attacking. 

That is why he is immortal.


11. Chuck Norris is the reason why Superman wears underwear over his pants because he lost to Chuck Norris in a fight and accepted the clause of the being a loser. 

Now we know why.


12. Chuck Norris is the only man who can understand a woman. 

He can make the impossible possible.


13. When aliens invaded Earth, Chuck Norris did not run, aliens did. 

Never underestimate the power of common man. 


Ridiculous Chuck Norris Jokes



14. No condom can prevent Chuck Norris from getting a girl pregnant. 

His sperms are the sharpest thing in the world. 


15. Chuck Norris threw a bomb, and it killed 30 people and then it exploded!

Thankfully, he does not play any sports.


16. Chuck Norris can strangle with enemies with a walky-talky.

That is totally ridiculous. 


17. Chuck Norris is the only person who can build Rome in a day.

Romans wish they had Chuck Norris to built Rome.


18. Chuck Norris is the reason why Moon rotates around Earth. 

All hail the King. 


19. Chuck Norris can pluck lemons from apple trees. 

That's weird indeed!


20. Chuck Norris can give the sun a burn.

That is why he wears a sunglass.


21. Chuck Norris does not go for animal hunting. He goes for hunting the hunters. 

There is no probability for Chuck Norris.


22. Chuck Norris is the only person to know Victoria's secret.

Did he sleep with her?


23. Chuck Norris is the reason why Dinosaurs do not exist anymore.

A good job is done for humanity. 


24. Giraffe came into existence when Chuck Norris super kicked a horse. 

The descendants!


Out Of The World Chuck Jokes



25. There is no survival of fittest. Everyone is alive because Chuck Norris let them. 

All hail the God!


26. Chuck Noris can get a girl pregnant with sex chat.

That is why he stays away from the girls.


27. There is no sign of life in Mars because Chuck Norris went there once. 

NASA should stop wasting money.


28. Chuck Norris can count to infinity up to infinity times. 

And here we are struggling to count the stars. 


29. Chuck Norris's wife lost her virginity to him on their wedding night, he returned it to her.

That is why virgin girls are so attracted to him. 


30. Chuck Norris can spark a fire by striking two ice cubes. 

That's a new discovery.


31. Before ghosts can appear out of nowhere, they first check whether Chuck Norris is around!

He is the ghost buster. 


32. Chuck Norris is the reason why NASA is yet to find evidence of aliens. They are scared of him. 

They should give up hope. 


33. There is no Delete Or Backspace in Chuck Norris's keywords as he never makes mistakes.

Even his mistakes are correct. 


34. When Chuck Norris's mother gave him birth, he drove her to home.

That's my boy!


35. Chuck Norris does not need a weapon because it is the weapon of mass destruction.

North Korea needs it!


Go ahead and share the jokes with your friends on social media and comment below with the Chuck Norris facts that blew your mind. Reading these funny jokes is one of the best things to do on the internet when you are bored. Let us know if you have liked it in the reactions section below and comment if you have come up with some more facts about Chuck Norris.







Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+ 41 = 42

Previous Article

60 Super Cool Gamer tags and How to Choose Yours?

Next Article

The Amusing List of 40 Best & Worst Insults Ever

Related Posts