24 Best Dad Jokes That Will Make Your Child Laugh Helplessly

Being a dad is the best feeling a man can get. Everyone wants to be a perfect dad and provide their children the best experience while growing up. Naturally, dads become the idol and the hero for every child.

Due to create such an image, dads need to show off their different personality traits. One of the best abilities to have is to make your children smile and laugh anytime and anywhere. Nothing is better than jokes when it comes to making any person laugh out loud. Here are the best dad jokes that will come handy to make your children learn with laughter

 

 

Check Out The Best Dad Jokes Here

 

Hilarious Dad Jokes

 

1. I Belong To Apple

Dad: Tell me what you will become if you see a robbery in an Apple store?

Son: no idea!

Dad: iWitness!

 

2. Bicycle Mystery

Dad: Do you know why your bicycle cannot stand on it own and you have to make it stand all the time?

Son: No idea.

Dad: It is simple. It always gets "two tired".(front and rear tire).

3. Change Is Permanent

Son: Dad, what time is it on your watch?

Dad: I don't know, son. It always keeps on changing.

4. What Makes Everyone's Day?

Dad: Baby, do you know what makes you dad ever since I was born?

Daughter: No, what is it?

Dad: It is one complete rotation of the Earth.

 

5. Work Under Construction

Dad: Would you like to hear the funniest joke about my construction?

Daughter: Please.

Son: Sorry baby, it is still under construction.

 

 

6. Cheesy Joke 

Dad: Son, would you like to hear my all time best pizza joke?

Son: Yes, please.

Dad, Nevermind, it is too cheesy for you. 

 

7. Not Alright?

Daughter? Dad, are you alright now?

Dad: I am half right and half left from my birth.

8. Eyes Are Blessing

Daughter: How do I look, dad?

Dad: With your eyes! LOL!

 

9. Taylor Swift Attack

Dad: Baby, do you know that a vampire attacked Taylor Swift while she was at a concert yesterday?

Daughter: Oh, that is so sad. 

Dad: Do you know why it attacked her? Because she was singing "we have got bad blood".

 

10. What's His Blood Type?

Dad: Do you know I have a blessing that I can tell the blood type of any person including the celebrity?

Son: Really? Tell me the blood type of Lionel Messi.

Dad: It is red.

 

Witty Dad Jokes 

 

 

11. Cheapest Concert Ever

Dad: Just came back from a concert that had a famous rapper and a very popular band. I was in the first row elite seat. Can you guess how much the ticket cost me?

Son: A hundred dollars?

Dad: No, only 45 cents.

Son: Are you serious?

Dad: Yes, it was 50 Cents featuring Nickelback. (Nickel is worst 5 cents)

 

12. Butter Is Always Slippery

Dad: Have you heard of the recent rumor about butter?

Son: No, what is it?

Dad: Nevermind, I should not 'spread' it.

 

13. A Path Always Leads To Something

Dad: Baby, never trust the stairs in your life.

Daughter: But why?

Dad: Because they are always up to something.

14. Singular and Plural 

Dad: Hey, you got a hair-cut?

Son: Yeah dad. How does it look?

Dad: Stop lying to me. Clearly, you got all of them cut and you are calling it "a hair-cut".

 

15. The Formula Of Holy Water

Dad: Hey, do you know how to make any water become Holy water?

Son: No, How?

Dad: Just boil the shit out of it. 

 

16. Witty Question?

Dad: Tell me something, what you would call something with no body and no nose?

Son: No idea.

Dad: "Nobody Knows".

17. Witty Call

Son: I am in middle of things. I will call you later.

Dad: No, just call me "Dad".

 

18. Asking For A Drink

Dad: Never bend over to ask for a drink in the counter?

Son: But Why?

Dad: Because you should always raise the bar.

 

19. Gathering At A Graveyard

Daughter: Look dad, the graveyard is so crowded.

Dad: People "must be dying" to get in there.

Naughty Dad Jokes 

 

 

20. Careful What You Wish For

Dad: Son, I called all the furniture store, but no one had the thing I wanted?

Son: What did you want?

Dad: Just a one night stand. 

 

21. First Date Matters

Dad: Today, I am going to give you the best relationship advice ever.

Son: Sure dad. It will surely come handy.

Dad: Always kiss a girl on 1st January of every year.

Son: But why?

Dad: Because technically, it would be the 'first date' all the time. 

22. Dirty Mind Challenge I

Dad: What is that thing which is exactly 6 inches long and 2 inches wide that drive every woman crazy?

Son: I think I know but I can't say it.

Dad: What are you thinking? It is a $100 note.

 

23. Dirty Mind Challenge II

Dad: What is it that has two legs and bleeds!

Son: Girls.

Dad: Shut up, I was talking about "half a dog".

 

24. Height Matters

Dad: Always slap a midget dwarf when he says that your hair smells good.

Daughter: But why?

Dad: Check his height.

 

Do share in the comment section that jokes you or your dad cracked at you that made you laugh till you cry and it has formed a very fond memory of your childhood. 

 

 

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