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The ultimate guide to how to not be a creep on Facebook.

 

1. Over enthusiastic greetings

 

 

 

 

People who don’t know you are not interested in your over enthusiastic His and Hellos. The extra ‘iiiiiiiiiii’ and ‘oooooo’ just show how desperate you are.

 

 

 

2. Weird Compliments

 

 

 

 

If you don’t someone don’t just start your conversation with a creepy compliment. And especially do not compliment them on some DP they put up years ago, you stalker.

 

 

 

3. Your Phone Number

 

 

 

What are they supposed to do with your phone number? What do you expect when you send someone just your phone number without any explanations? Do you assume that they’ll call you up, listen to your voice and fall in love? Doesn’t happen bro.

 

 

4. Declaration Of Your Love

 

 

Again, they are total complete strangers, you don’t love them you just think they look hot in their profile pictures. End of discussion.

 

 

5. Declaration of your lust

 

 

So let me get this straight, you’re lonely and no one loves you so you think that it’d be appropriate to ask some stranger to fulfill your carnal desires? Nuh uh. What it will do is make them lodge a complaint against you.

 

 

 

6. Demands

 

 

You can’t even have your friends meet you for dinner nowadays, but you expect that if you message a stranger demanding them to come somewhere they’ll just come running to you. Get out of your fantasy zone man. Also no-no to fraaaandship demands.

 

 

7. The Never-Give-Up messages

 

 

If they didn’t reply to your first 10 messages, they won’t reply to the next 20 either. Get a hint, they DO NOT want to talk to you. Stop pestering people with your incessant ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’, ‘Happy Sunday’ etc.

 

 

8. Images

 

 

Please don’t steal their pictures from Instagram, edit them and send to them saying “Look I made you prettier.” Also, don’t send them unsolicited pictures of yourself captioned ‘Handsome Hunk’, keep your images to yourself.